Hello,

So I’ve started work. I am officially Teacher Jessica or just Teacher. My community is now full so we started our weekly schedule. Sunday nights we have spirituality night, Thursday nights we have community night, Wednesday nights I cook for everyone and over the weekends we rotate cleaning…because our apartment is NOT clean! So this week is the first week of the full schedule and I’m ready for a break…and it’s only Wednesday. I have gotten through the first three days of teaching though. The first two days went well. I was able to do the same thing each day with all the classes because we have block schedule. The first two days with each class I gave them information on the class and myself and then had them write about what respect means to them. Then I broke them into groups to talk about respect and come up with three words to put on the board. We did that and I tried to get each of the groups to tell us why they picked the words but getting them to talk was like pulling teeth. Chukese students are very shy and don’t like to talk much. At least not the first day of class. It went decent though. I was able to get the point across that I expect respect in the classroom and will also do my best to be respectful to them. If we finished with that discussion I had them write about themselves, but I don’t know all the 105 names so I don’t know what face told me what…oops. I also had them make name signs for their desks but they didn’t have them today when I was in the room…arg. We’re going to have to work on that or I’ll never learn the names. I did the same thing yesterday with the sophomores and then crashed and slept longer than I was supposed to, so planning my lesson for today happened late at night and early this morning. We reviewed past present and future verbs, which i think was a super boring review for some. I have soooo much to teach myself about English before I continue to teach it, so tonight, before or after cooking dinner, I’m going to work my butt off to plan for tomorrow and learn what it is that I am planning. I also have papers to finish grading before planning my two lessons….Being a teacher is soooooooooo much work, and 1.5 hour lessons are a long time to speak and teach. Public speaking here I come!!! Woosh! I get so thirsty. Yesterday and today though I made my classes scream after I made a fool of myself screaming. I want them to openly talk in class. I want to have fun in class. As long as they are being respectful and paying attention when we are leaning, I want the application to be fun…and that takes some energy!!! I think I got my workout already for the day! My students all seem great too. They all have minor English mistakes, but in general their English is pretty good. I really think if they all work they can go to college. I hope if they want to, they know they can. I would love to help them get into college too. I feel so old though that I could be writing letters of recommendation for some of the students I have now. Crazy!!! I have a full time job teaching and I can write letters of rec.??? WHOA! Welp, that’s all for now. I hope everyone is doing well. I love receiving e-mails so feel free to send some. Also, if you remember anything great a teacher did to teach you English grammar, please let me know. I have to learn grammar and be able to explain it, yet make it fun…so feel free to help!
Peace and Love,
Jessica

So underneath is the e-mail i sent to most people yesterday, but i thought today was worth a post too. Ok, so today was ridiculous. As most of you know, i'm not very physically fit, yet we took a 4.5 hour hike from my school to the school that the other JVs are at...through mud, trees, forest, and up hill. I was miserable. I actually started wheezing at one point...i've never done that before. I took some pictures before that happened that everyone wants to see, the really beautiful ones of the clear blue pacific ocean. That and the stars are really great, but in general, that's not what i see every day when i walk out my door. I can see the water over some houses, but the water close to me is unswimmable because of the polution and docks. There is not beach all around the island. It is poor here, but not as poor as some of the other places i've been, or maybe it is, i'm not really sure. i also have yet to learn the culture better. Really i still know little other than it's hot and when it's that hot it's just plain stupid to take a 4 mile hike. I did it with machines too...i'm proud of myself now that it's over but i got so craby and NEVER want to do that again unless i can get myself into much better shape which would be great too.
Anyhow, i know that sounds like crabbing a little, but i am really glad i'm done. It's something i can say i did once, i saw the island a little better, and it's done...thank God. I'm just glad i'm no longer walking...haha. The view was beautiful though at lunch, and i got to see the true beauty of Chuuk as i have missed until now.

In general though, i'm doing well. still trying to put my feet on the ground. There is a lot to learn. I think school and community is going to be great, it's the heat and such that i need training for. One of the other JVs from the other island calls Chuuk Boot Camp...i think i experienced Chuuk boot camp today. So onward, the rest of this is the e-mail i sent yesterday. Hope all of you are well, love you and miss you!

Jessica

Hey everyone, How’s it going? I’m doing well. So not everyone is
getting this e-mail right now because I lot the list I created before,
but I just put as many people on the list as I could think of. Things
are going well for me now though. The first few nights were a little
hard because I got bit by something on the lip the first sweaty night
and my lip swelled to the size of a cherry tomato. Then the next 3
nights we got deathly ill, ok, I exaggerate, but we were really sick.
I’m better now though. I am meeting people which is nice and getting
slightly more used to the heat. Slightly. We’ve had teacher meetings
the last 3 days. One full day and 2 half days. Teaching is going to
be pretty demanding but if I can keep up with it I think I’ll like it.
I’m teaching English Skills to juniors which is more less writing,
English lit in which I get to read Anne Frank and To Kill a
Mockingbird along with other things from textbooks. That’ll be fun.
Then I’m also teaching Creative Writing which I could do a lot with I
hope…including some stuff for the school newspaper which I’d like to
start up again through journalism club which I sort of volunteered
myself for unknowingly. Oops.
Outside of school, we’re going to an outer island this weekend for
something….i don’t really know what. Haha. But we are. We’ve also
been having people over to talk about different things going on here
in Chuuk. One of the things that is really interesting and sad is
that the suicide rates here are really high. That might be a topic
of some of the papers in my English classes.
Additionally, the people I’m living with are really cool. Matt is in
his second year now and showing us around. We call him dad.
Caroline, Tyler, and I are all first years, and around the 20th Megan
should be coming. She will be volunteering for a 3rd year but this
will be her first year in Chuuk. She was on another island in FSM
before. I don’t really know what else to say. Hope you’re all well.
I’ll post on my blog and such as soon as I can figure it out!!!
Love ya’ll!
Jessica

I Made It!!!!

Ron Annim Everyone,
I made it to Micronesia. There is not much to say yet. We met one of our other community mates, Matt, and the Xavier community mate Meg. Stephanie, the other girl from SLU that is here in Xavier community is in the Mortlock Islands trying to get back to Weno (our island) but she missed the boat and the next flight isn't until the 12th. The other Saramen community mate (my community) is in the states because she is doing a third year and needed to be home for her sisters wedding so she wont get here until the 20th or something like that. Currently we are at Xavier after spending last night at Saramen. We haven't done a whole lot yet other than unpack and eat some local food...I'm finding out I don't like a good handful of the food...the fish is good, tuna is the fish we've had so far, but then there is spam...which isn't horrible but it sure isnt great either, and this potato like fruit called breadfruit which is GROSS!!! Um, there is also a lot of coconut and soy milk, neither of which i'm crazy about. Maybe i'll drop a few pounds while i'm here. Um, it is really hot, more humid than anything, but the people are really nice. I'm ready to get into a routine and start to feel more at home but that'll come with time.

More on the funny side, there are tons of mu mu's which everyone wears...i'm sure there will be pictures in time of me in one...i'm trying to hold off!!! haha. we're going to be heading to another island sometime in the next week or two which should be fabulous, go swimming tomorrow (in Capri's and a t-shirt!) and go see the old light house from WWII. There are a bunch of sunken ships around and lots still to learn. Sorry I don't have more to say, as I'm sure a good handful of people want details galore...it's just the beginning though. Oh, my apartment is good though, other than the bugs. Last night one bit me on the lip so when i woke up over half of my upper lip was super swollen!!! haha. Apparently i'm sweet too because they ate at me all night. I'm all better now though! No worries family! Love you all and miss you!
Jessica

Goodbyes and New Beginnings

So this is it, I'm off tomorrow early morning. We leave John Carroll at 3:30am "tomorrow" and I'll get there 10:30ish am Wednesday. I kind of miss Tuesday. haha. I'm pretty at peace with it. Scared, nervous, excited, but mostly at peace. These last two weeks of orientation really helped me trust that I am doing what God is asking me to do, and I am at peace with that. I also am at peace with the fact that this is going to be ridiculously hard at times, and unbelievably joyful at others. I will not have one without the other. I have learned from the past though that the hard times and the joy filled moments are wonderful learning moments.

As for orientation, it has been wonderful. Full of beautiful people with energy and passion. There have been really challenging times here too, and I have already learned about myself. Can you believe it, I get quiet when there are large groups. I really can be quiet and shy. My favorite workshop we had was Catholic Social Teaching. I had heard of this before, but if you're Catholic, I urge you to discover this wonderful secret of the Catholic Church. It's challenging us to really put our faith into action. WONDERFUL part of the church.
I am going to miss everyone from home no doubt, and I am sure I'll miss many of the luxuries from home too, but i am only closing the door, it's not locked. I'll be back as this new beginning becomes an end. 2 years seems like a long time right now, but as many Former Jesuit Volunteers (FJVs) have said, it will fly by and I'll be home before any of us know it.

So for now, this is adios! I'll see you soon and even though we wont be together physically, we are on the road together. We're together in mind, heart, thought, and prayer. We all travel this road we call life together, so I'll be seeing you!

Love,
Jessica

Micronesia....5 days left

I leave everything I know in 5 days. The popular question is how am I feeling....well, I wish I knew. Yes, part of me is super excited. I am excited to meet and get to know the people I'm going to be living with and sharing the next few years with. I am so nervous to meet them and I'm sure in two years I'll laugh about that and have some wonderful new people as a large part of my life. I am also excited to see what life will be like in Micronesia and meet people in Micronesia. I can't wait to have so many questions answered and get settled...

On the other hand...GOODBYES SUCK SUCK SUCK!!! I've said goodbye to people in El Salvador and Nicaragua and that was never easy, and I've said goodbye for short terms to go to those countries...non of which were easy, but this might just be my hardest goodbye. As much as i know I want to do JVI, I also regret it at times this week as I see what is does to my mom and other wonderful people in my life, and question who will still be here when i get back.

People have asked me though if I can back out, and I'm sure I could, but I wont. I'm in, I'm there, I'm invested, and I'll be a much better person when i get back. So in that way....lets get me settled and started.


Logistics of what I'm doing:

-Volunteering for 2 years with Jesuit Volunteers International (Corps)
-Teaching high school at Saramen Chuuk Academy (subjects still unknown) in the Federated States of Micronesia.
-Living with 2 other women and 2 other men in community.
-I should not be returning until summer of 2011.
-There are 4 other volunteers in another location on the island and 4 more on another island in Micronesia.
-I did not know any of the people leaving with me this year before applying.
-I do know one girl from SLU who is living on the island that is currently there but lives in the other community.
-I chose the program (JVI) not the location.
-ummm, Micronesia is an island nation in the pacific island
-Classroom/official language is English, native language is Chukese.
-I do not speak a lick of Chukese.
-I leave July 18th from home to go to Cleavland, OH for a two week orientation and straight from there on Aug. 3 to Micronesia.
-I leave 6am from OH and arrive in FSM (Federated States of Micronesia) 10am Aug. 5th in Micronesia.

Ask questions and I'll respond but I don't know much more.

I'll miss you all! Thanks for all of the love and support!!!

HOME

So I am home. I have been home since the 23rd of July and is has been a lot easier than the last time, but man am i bored. So much happened in the last two months that I cannot even begin to explain, but i was ready in some ways to come home. I have really enjoyed some things that i now consider guilty pleasures, but yet pleasures. For example, air conditioning, my car, hot showers, and swimming in pools or going boating. These are luxuries that I am very grateful to have. To be perfectly honest, i am alright being home and soaking these things up. There are people i miss no doubt and things i would like to still be doing in the way of seeing and experiencing. The only struggle i'm really having being home this time is being incredibly bored and wanting to be around people. I feel like i have a lot of things to do alone, but i just want to be around people. I think that is my biggest culture shock right now is the lack of togetherness here. So if you are reading this...get me out of my house and around other people!!!! PLEASE!!!

On another note, before i came home i went back to El Salvador. That was a beautiful time. I went back to my praxis site, El Cedro and a lot had changed but all good changed. They have a garden there now to grow plants, there is running water accessible to anyone and def. more clean than what they probably used before. They are doing more artisan stuff to sell, and there is another teacher there so the pre-school and kinder garden groups can have their own time and space. It was really neat to be able to understand better and communicate myself. It is amazing what you hear and notice when you hear the words people use. For example, where i stayed in Cedro, the husband asked if i was here because i had to come for business or something, and the wife said, "no, i think she is here because she cares about us." It was really great to be able to hear that they know that. Just little funny things too, or anything in general was nice to understand. I think I may have forgotten how much people in Cedro struggle for life tho and to feed their family. I forgot how hard the cycle is there and hearing people still talk about the gangs and the violence was real again. I got to spend the day before Cedro with Sor Lidia which was nice. She is an inspiring woman. I am a little sad to know that she is going to be leaving El Salvador in January and being placed somewhere else, but to hear what she wants to do, and through that to see how much she loves people was great. She would like to work in Haiti, or work with gangs, or she could be working with immigrants in Guatemala/Mexico, or something else, but the work she could be doing is just splendid and what she already has done too is something amazing.

After time in Cedro and with Sor, I went to see my friend Danielle who is working for 2 years in El Salvador and went out to dinner and just had a really chill night. She is so peaceful and true to herself-really one of the best people to be around and have a conversation with. She seems to understand a lot more and be so present to whoever she is with. I got to sleep in that day before i went out to Tepecoyo to visit my good friend Wiliam.

Wiliam is the night guard for the program i stayed with and i talked o him a lot at night. He is very insightful, joyous, and just a wonderful person. I took a bus out to Tepecoyo to visit him and his wonderful family. Firstly I was so proud of myself to take the bus by myself and not be incredibly scared out of my mind. That was a big thing for me this time when i went back...I got over being scared a little and realized that if something is going to happen there is nothing i can do about it so why worry so much. Anyhow, the time with Wiliam was AMAZING!!!! Going back to Cedro just to see him and his family is so worth it. I laid in hammocks a lot, I made tortillas, played monopoly, laughed and looked out over the other mountains. I cannot explain how peaceful it was to be there. That family is really something special to me. I really do not know how to explain how peaceful and joyous that time was with them. I was able to tell wiliam that i talked about him in a presentation i did at school because i could see God in him. Even tho God is a struggle for me, Wiliam is one place i see God. I really did not want to leave when i did, but i had other "dates" that day to be at and it turned out to be another really good day.

I went back to the Casa. Oh, insert, the first time i went back there during the day Lidia answered the door and she did not know i was coming or anything and she opens the door and goes "JESSICA!!!!" and said, wow, you remember my name! haha. They have so many students that go through those doors. I was so surprised that she remembered me. That was beautiful. Anyhow, back to the day. I went back and found a note that my lunch date was cancelled but it turned out ok because i was able to spend some time with the kitchen staff that day, take a nap, and just be a little. That day Lidia made me a necklace with the artisan stuff they were doing which was a fabulous gift and she also gave me some banana bread she made. AHHH!!! haha. Lidia's home cooking! Her and Lupita sat down with me a while to catch up too which was exciting. Oh, i got jugolandia that day too...anyone that has been to Salvi understands!!! ahhh, the best juice bar in the world i think. Anyhow, before dinner i got to catch up with an old Casa friend Chris who was in Salvi at the same time. It was great to have an hour together, but i wish it could have been more. He is really awesome and there was so much to talk about, but just being back together in each others presence was great for me. Oh, In also got to catch up with Kevin, one of the program coordinators which was nice.

That night I had plans to hang out with Julio and Neto. It was just a trip of great conversations and beauty. So we went and got papusas just the three of us. It was a lot of fun. We didn't talk about a whole lot, but mostly joked. It was so great though to be with them too, and to pass the relationship that i used to be a student and see each other more as old friends getting back together. I have to say, even though it is hard to stay in contact, i am blessed to have friends to see in sop many places. I can go to these wonderful places and have people there to see and be with. Just a great time and a lot of love.

After that i went back to Danielle’s for the last nights. I think i needed that time to chill out and just be. I had a wonderful cab ride. We were making small talk and it turned into talking about the war and this man was drafted into the government military. He seemed really regretful and told me that the things i knew about 90% of human rights violations happening from that side and the massacres are true. It is shameful to me to know that our government funded that. Anyhow, there was a lot to that conversation, but at the end he asked why the US always has their hands in everything? Why do they get into everything El Salvador is doing. I really dont know a good reason. I just said fear and power. I really feel like that is a lot of it. I do not think we should be so into everyone else’s business. It is a hard line to draw tho as far as how to help best-which we have not done in Salvador...we have harmed them way more than helped...agh.

Other things from there-i got to see Adela again which was nice. Just being around people and getting great hugs was fabulous. I thought about applying as a CC which i might do, but i do not think it is exactly what i'm looking for after college, but we'll see what happens. Speaking of ending college...lets not talk about it. I do not like the idea and do not know what i'm going to do with my life after that. SCARY!!! And, I will be writing a final paper for my class so I will eventually post that i think. If anyone wants to talk about any of this, I would be more than happy to meet you somewhere. I love to talk about it, but not a 10 min convo of how was it, because i cant really explain anything at all in that time. I'm pretty free these next couple of weeks tho.

The best thing i can say tho, challenge yourself to see if for yourself!!! It is worth the money to go there and put yourself out there.

Peace,
Jessica

getting to the end

Last night was the last night sleeping at my house. today is the last day at Dos Generaciones. Yea...so i realized today that i don´t want to leave Nica. I am ready for the program to be over, but leaving Nica I am not so ready for. I would love to live here with a little more control over my life and a little more time for myself. I almost cried this morning because i was playing with Mariann. She is so close to walking and i just love that baby so much. Yesterday my mom brought me and the family to her hometown as a special day with me, and i said to my sister here that she was going to miss me and she just told me that i would miss her too. My host mom made me an outfit...which i´m a little scared of how it´s goign to look but its the thought. I cannot believe she made me cloths...like really made them. crazy! I feel like i should be there more...its hard that we are not and i always feel guilty. ahhh...i cant believe i´m leaving. today at dos generaciones there are balloons and streamers in the office we´re always in and a sign that says hasta la vista baby! haha. Goodbyes suck because they are always so thoughtful and i remember what all i have. I am though so excited to see everyone at home and be in more control of my life. I have realized that I think i could live here, but that I also really appriciate my own car, warm showers, washing machines, and air conditioning. all those expensive things that are luxuries....i really like them. haha.
In general tho, my emotions are all around. they are really sad because of leaving some great people, really excited and even a little nurvous to go back to salvador, and excited to see people at home too. I am excited to be there for jacki as she plans the wedding, and for all my other friends just to be there. i am excited to go boating with my family, and take a little time for myself without feeling guilty that i dont spend enough time with people. Guilt has been a huge self inflicted feeling i have experienced here. I wish i knew when i should feel guilty for soemthing and when it is just me worrying and thinkign too much, because lets be honast, i surely think too much. thats why sometimes i actually like to watch tv, because i dont think all deep. it gets annoying.
Well, less than two weeks and i will be seeing people. I leave here tuesday for el salvador. Wednesday (16) i´m going to Cedro with Sor Lidia until Thursday(17), Friday(18) with Danielle, Saturday(19) and Sunday(20) with William, Monday(21) beach Tuesday(22) i think with Danielle or chris before i go to the airport on the 23rd...wow. i´ll be home before we know it!
Thats the plan. Today we´re leaving for the beach in Leon and a retreat tomorrow. Sunday we´`re going to church with our families and have the day in the bario until 7ish...then i dont know what i´m doing exactly monday. i have a few thoughts but i dont know how they´ll work out. ok. love ya´ll and seeyou soon!