Things that happen in Micronesia!!!

“It’s Lard!!!” Hearing that was the second time I realized I cannot identify food in Micronesia!!! One of the first nights I was making dinner I decided to make breakfast for dinner. I thought this was a wonderful idea when I found bacon! I was so excited because I had not seen bacon on the island until that night. I opened the bacon and it wasn’t in the bacon strips, but I just thought that was a difference in Micronesian bacon. I cut it in chunks and started to fry it, it didn’t look or smell like bacon. When I put it on the table, my community member asked “is that lard?” To my confusion, I said, oh, no, it’s just some kind of pork. He replied, “No Jess. It’s lard!” So, I made lard for dinner!!!
Additionally, a couple days ago one of the women in the office told me some horrifying news! Ha-ha. So we were having a moment where I was telling her how sweet and loving she is and then I gave her a hug. She was sitting down and I was standing when this happened. I went outside to throw my trash away and then came back into the main office. She had lotion out and gave me some. Jokingly I asked her if I smelled and that’s why she was giving me lotion. She said “no, yes, no” and I asked “Which is it,” Meaning, yes or no. Then she pointed to her vagina to tell me that my vag smelled bad!!! I later found out she was joking but I was so scared I smelled like vag all day long!!! It took me a couple of days to find out she was joking.
Then, for the second time since coming to Chuuk I woke up with a swollen upper lip. Some bug tends to bite me while I’m sleeping. I’m going on a swollen lip once a month at the moment. The first night I was in Chuuk I woke up with a lip that looked like I got the crap kicked out of me, and it happened again. But hey, waking up the first morning with a swollen lip was much better than the following 3 days having horrible stomach pains and everything that goes with it (I’ll spare you, but I’m sure you all can imagine). We claim the second years poisoned us so things would just get better the longer we’re here…which they have.
And, the finale!!! I really really needed to do laundry so I was wearing that green skirt we have had for a long time. It is really big on me though but, I figured what the heck, my hips are bigger than my waist so all is fine. So I wore it around the school, upstairs and downstairs. My friend Grace came over and we were walking out to the STUCO car wash together. We were right in front of the side doors of the church (there was a wedding going on) when 4 guys around my age walked by. They said “Waioo” which means wow, or an expression of happiness here. I looked toward them but not too directly because I knew they were cat calling. When I turned back forward I felt something at my ankles and looked down. There I saw my green skirt!!! OMG!!! I assume that’s why the guys were yelling…and in front of the wedding!!! WOW!