Currently I’m sitting at a hotel using the internet after lunch. While eating lunch though, some girls from a once a year cruise ship were in the restaurant. I witnessed a hysterical moment, yet realized that I used to be on the other side so recently. So, culturally, girls legs are sacred, and the girls from the cruise ship were dressed, scantily. They were wearing short short shorts and midriffs shirts with heal, needless to say, in this conservative culture. That is NOT ok! So, at I watched this young lady walk past. So did the four Chuukese women at the counter. I watched one of the lean over and check her out with Oh My God eyes. All of the ladies had Oh My God faces on, and then they saw me watching them and looking at the same thing. All 5 of us started laughing!
Awesome.
Anyhow, I wanted to share something one of my students wrote. This student is wonderful and seems to see what we see too. She can look at Chuuk with a critical and loving eye. The assignment was to write a paragraph connecting Chuuk and common good in any way she could. Here is her response:
According to the web definition, common good is the good of a community. In my own understanding, I understand that common good is the good that people share in the community or society. As for myself, I do not think I see common good in Chuuk for some reasons. Most importantly, the leaders are charting in their work. They cheat and as a result their plans do not work out such as the road, cleaning system, and electricity. Second, people are careless. They think of their own good. For instance, they help their own families instead of helping the community people. Last, the leaders and their people do not work together. If the people work for common good, then the problems should be solved. Therefore, I strongly state that there is no common good in Chuuk.
On other notes, I’ve been wanting to write a good essay on Chuuk and what’s going on, but there is so much it’s hard. Recently, I’ve felt to be in a paradox. There is beauty in my students, the tropical life, and relationships I have here. This beauty is indescribable, yet, I’ve felt a little trapped on an island seeing so clearly, so much, that’s been hard. The above paragraph explains a lot of that. I try to remember that my perspective is that of a 23 year old American that has been in Chuuk for only 15 months, but my response is still alive.
Daily I notice the silence that is cause by the culture. No one speaks up. I would say it’s apathy, but I really think it’s forced apathy because if someone speaks up they’re seen as disrespectful by society. Because no one can speak up due to social pressures, things are falling apart here. People explain how the society has digressed. It’s sad. As Chuuk is forced to meet the western world, everyone gets confused. As the culture shifts, men have lost their place and begin to drink more and violence takes over. Then there is education. Education seems like a way to combat some of the problems, but education is so undervalued here. Students don’t do homework, there is little parental support, and the school doesn’t always even take education seriously. Teachers don’t always show up to class or class is cancelled or shortened for some odd reason.
So recently, I have loved the students but have been really saddened. I feel like Chuuk is a place where people have lost hope and passion for life. Violence, alcoholism, and apathy rule while other things are put on the backburner. Family life is incredibly important and something we don’t see as much, but at times it seems to be more family verse family. My role here at times seems trivial, and then I remember the hard working students and keep going. There are plenty of aspects of Chuuk that keep me going, mostly the wonderful people, nature, and finding God, but it’s a hard place to understand and really hard to see a society in the situation that Chuuk is in.
These are just thought, not so organized and not what I wish I was posting, but thoughts nonetheless.
As I think this though, I look out over the water into the sun and see the other islands in the distance, hear the motors of the boats, and see the beauty here. It’s such a paradox, and none of my critical thinking can get me to understand what steps need to be taken here, probably because I know I cannot be the one to take them. The steps have to come from within. As cliché as it is, all I can do is plant the seeds and hope they will be fertilized.
I miss you all, and am trying to figure next year out…we’ll see what comes of that, but I will be on a plane somewhere around July heading for the US.
Love,
Jessica
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
We Pray For....
One of my favorite things to do for spirituality nights is to re-write prayers. I always love what comes out of it and I love putting prayers into our own words. Tonight, as a group, we wrote this prayer based off of “We pray for the Children…” This is what we came up with and can give glimpses of what we love and struggle with being volunteers in Chuuk and what prayers we hold for the people we serve and people serving in other places.
We pray for Chuukese
Who have hidden passions,
Who are victims of violence,
Who dip fingers in kool-aid and ramen.
We pray for volunteers
Who could leave at any time,
Who question their purposes,
Who want to feel more part of the culture,
Who put ideas into action,
Who are just learning,
Who miss their families and friends.
We pray for Chuukese
Who shake it at track and field events,
Who have the capacity to make this a better state.
We pray for volunteers
Who are burdened by expectations,
Who forget to have dance parties,
Who build relationships with those they serve,
Whose vision is often blurred,
Who think they are going crazy,
Who need to be reminded to watch the sunset,
Who make mistakes.
We pray for Chuukese
Who sing their hearts out,
Who leave their notebooks in the other classroom,
Who turn the other cheek,
Who don’t see the virtue of education,
Who share everything,
Who sweep water out of their yards,
Who work in markets,
Who have been robbed of their cultural identities (by a bureaucratic nightmare),
Who shout waioooo and mwasamwas,
Who are victims of substance abuse.
We pray for volunteers
Who stare at calendars,
Who miss smelling good and feeling clean,
Who haven’t had a solid shit in 6 months,
Who are changed beyond their ability to effect change,
Who are all over the world.
We pray for Chuukese
Who chew betel nut,
Who search for hope,
Who enjoy laying down anywhere,
Who need role models,
Who stay in Chuuk.
May our hands join together as instruments of change in Jesus’s name. Amen.
I hope you enjoyed.
Love,
Jessica
We pray for Chuukese
Who have hidden passions,
Who are victims of violence,
Who dip fingers in kool-aid and ramen.
We pray for volunteers
Who could leave at any time,
Who question their purposes,
Who want to feel more part of the culture,
Who put ideas into action,
Who are just learning,
Who miss their families and friends.
We pray for Chuukese
Who shake it at track and field events,
Who have the capacity to make this a better state.
We pray for volunteers
Who are burdened by expectations,
Who forget to have dance parties,
Who build relationships with those they serve,
Whose vision is often blurred,
Who think they are going crazy,
Who need to be reminded to watch the sunset,
Who make mistakes.
We pray for Chuukese
Who sing their hearts out,
Who leave their notebooks in the other classroom,
Who turn the other cheek,
Who don’t see the virtue of education,
Who share everything,
Who sweep water out of their yards,
Who work in markets,
Who have been robbed of their cultural identities (by a bureaucratic nightmare),
Who shout waioooo and mwasamwas,
Who are victims of substance abuse.
We pray for volunteers
Who stare at calendars,
Who miss smelling good and feeling clean,
Who haven’t had a solid shit in 6 months,
Who are changed beyond their ability to effect change,
Who are all over the world.
We pray for Chuukese
Who chew betel nut,
Who search for hope,
Who enjoy laying down anywhere,
Who need role models,
Who stay in Chuuk.
May our hands join together as instruments of change in Jesus’s name. Amen.
I hope you enjoyed.
Love,
Jessica
Friday, September 24, 2010
update and mice
Hello Everyone. Sorry I haven’t updated in more than a month. I’m not even sure what to say now, so let me start with, we’ve caught 10 mice so far without killing them. Let’s be honest, there is no way to kill them because traps here don’t work. Our kitchen has been invaded by pooping mice and there have been mice trapping missions. For a while, we had a mouse trap maze set up in our kitchen using cans, games, boxes, and Tupperware. At random intervals, there would be a sprint to the kitchen to catch the mice and if the mouse was eating the food in the maze, most of the time, he would get caught and be thrown to the ground outside (probably to find his way back up to our kitchen…agh!
In addition to catching mice, school has started. I am teaching freshmen and sophomore lit, and English composition. Once I get to the comp class, I fall over and tell the juniors and seniors how much I love them! Haha. The sophomores are great too, and some of the freshmen, but WHOA BABY, some of these freshmen need someone to put them in their place. Part of the problem though is that there are 40 in each class and they’re just at so many different levels…it’s insane. I’ve been concentrating mostly on vacab though so the students can increase their vocab. It’s not really a fun class at all, whereas the sophomore class is wonderful. I love teaching that lit class.
Although teaching freshmen and teaching in general can be difficult, I am really at peace with it. I’ve been missing home in a weird way. I am super happy here and don’t want to leave, but I still miss people and things from home. The feeling is more wanting to visit home than to be there for good. Regardless though, I’ve been really happy and at peace here. This is where I’m supposed to be and what I’m supposed to be doing at this moment. This past weekend was our staff retreat and I realized I’m really at peace with God, nature, and where I am right now. As everyone there are things on my mind, but overall I’m peaceful. I’ve felt at one with nature. I’ve felt closer to God, and as if my life is truly blessed as a product of God’s love.
Along with being at peace this weekend, I’ve been feeling a weird feeling that I’m supposed to really do something with my life. I know I want to be a wife and mother, but I also feel like I’ve been given so many opportunities and blessing I need to figure out where my gifts and talents best meet the worlds needs. I’m still thinking on that! I think what I’ve been doing though is a path to where I’m supposed to be.
So, that’s a life update.
Peace,
Trout
PS. Caro’s parents got here yesterday and brought sticky traps-so sad- and we are up to 16 mice caught in our house! INFESTATION!!! We drown then on the sticky pad to be more humane so they didn’t starve to death. One of them still had head mobility and poked his head outa the water in panic…Tyler had to push the sticky pad lower in the water….really really sad day. Heart breaking… wah wah.
In addition to catching mice, school has started. I am teaching freshmen and sophomore lit, and English composition. Once I get to the comp class, I fall over and tell the juniors and seniors how much I love them! Haha. The sophomores are great too, and some of the freshmen, but WHOA BABY, some of these freshmen need someone to put them in their place. Part of the problem though is that there are 40 in each class and they’re just at so many different levels…it’s insane. I’ve been concentrating mostly on vacab though so the students can increase their vocab. It’s not really a fun class at all, whereas the sophomore class is wonderful. I love teaching that lit class.
Although teaching freshmen and teaching in general can be difficult, I am really at peace with it. I’ve been missing home in a weird way. I am super happy here and don’t want to leave, but I still miss people and things from home. The feeling is more wanting to visit home than to be there for good. Regardless though, I’ve been really happy and at peace here. This is where I’m supposed to be and what I’m supposed to be doing at this moment. This past weekend was our staff retreat and I realized I’m really at peace with God, nature, and where I am right now. As everyone there are things on my mind, but overall I’m peaceful. I’ve felt at one with nature. I’ve felt closer to God, and as if my life is truly blessed as a product of God’s love.
Along with being at peace this weekend, I’ve been feeling a weird feeling that I’m supposed to really do something with my life. I know I want to be a wife and mother, but I also feel like I’ve been given so many opportunities and blessing I need to figure out where my gifts and talents best meet the worlds needs. I’m still thinking on that! I think what I’ve been doing though is a path to where I’m supposed to be.
So, that’s a life update.
Peace,
Trout
PS. Caro’s parents got here yesterday and brought sticky traps-so sad- and we are up to 16 mice caught in our house! INFESTATION!!! We drown then on the sticky pad to be more humane so they didn’t starve to death. One of them still had head mobility and poked his head outa the water in panic…Tyler had to push the sticky pad lower in the water….really really sad day. Heart breaking… wah wah.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Summer Switch of Islands
Currently, I am sitting on a flowered wooden couch in the smallest house ever in Pohnpei, FSM where the JVs here live. I have lived in this house for the last 5 weeks with two other JVs, Mike from Xavier (Chuuk), and Samantha from Pohnpei. In one week, Philip, a JV from Pohnpei will come back from Chuuk, and the next day Mike and I will say goodbye to Philip and Sam for another 9 months until we meet again at the end of out JVI experience. Mike and I will arrive back to our home in Chuuk to have our new JVs arrive the next day. After they arrive, we start a series of Phase II orientation events; talking to people, adventuring around Chuuk, getting to know one another, and going on a 20 hour boat ride in the vast, open Pacific Ocean!
This all sounds like quite a lot in a few days, but I’m ready and excited. The summer in PNI has been wonderful and I do not regret switching islands and placements for the summer, but I am ready to go back to Chuuk and excited to meet our new people! I can’t believe I’m more than half way done though! I don’t feel like I’ve been here that long.
Anyhow, what did I do this summer in PNI? Well, I was the Director of the Higher Achievement Program. HAP is a program run by Xavier volunteers and people closely affiliated with Xavier (AKA me) for to be 8th graders at the top of their classes from all elementary schools in PNI. My job was to plan field trips, make sure logistics were done, take care of the budget, and just make sure things were running smoothly. To be honest, the job wasn’t so hard. There were moments of high stress such as during our field trips making sure all 61 students and volunteers were with us, respectful and so on, but the planning wasn’t so bad.
I learned a lot through being director, and got to see a lot too. For the field trips we went to Micronesian Seminar (www.micsem.org) and I got to see more in depth what they do for FSM. We went to the Local Food Community of Pohnpei and had a presentation from the Conservation Society in Pohnpei, which I got to see both of these presentations and go to the LFCP and see their place. Then, the two coolest and hardest field trips came-Nan Madol and the Capitol at Palikir where we met with the President of the FSM. These were awesome although STRESSFUL! Nan Madol is ruins in PNI created in the 1200s I think and mark the lands of the highest ranking chief because of the prime location and history of the people in the area. It was the first time I had seen ruins, therefore it was pretty awesome. I was also met by a lot of hospitality of the local deacon and parents. Finally, yesterday we went to the FSM Capitol at Palikir. This fieldtrip may have been less stressful in planning, but I would say it was the most stressful and coolest for me once there. When we got to the Capitol, the tour guide did not show up. I went into the Dept. of Edu office and they called him. He arrived 45 mins later so I had 60 13 year olds bored for 45 mins. I decided to walk around the buildings with them and tell them what I could about each of the government offices but I am no expert in government and what happens in each office. Luckily I had gone through the 3 branches of government with the students the day before and some other information so I was able to quiz them along the walk. Still, we got back to the bus and the tour guide still wasn’t there. When he showed up he had a lot of energy and humor and all turned out great. At 10:30 we had a meeting with the President of the FSM, Manny Mori from Chuuk. This part proved rather stressful too. The president was in his office and ready for us, very hospitable, and honestly, I have a good impression of him. Anyhow, as we went in to sit down, the presidents employees told me to go sit up front next to him-eeek…I’m a 23 year old teacher. How am I the person that should be sitting next to the president of a country in front of a large group? Anyhow, I did as asked and the tour guide presented the group briefly, passed it to the president’s office, who passed it straight to me….shoot, what do I say?!?! So, I spoke a little more about the students and the group, the goal and so on, and then passed it to the president. WOOSH! He spoke to them with great humor and honesty which I appreciated. Then they asked him questions which we prepared beforehand. He answered the questions very humbly and gave us a ton of time. He talked to the students about the value of their education and the need for leaders with honesty and education. I was thoroughly impressed with him. All at the same time though, I was watching my students talking and laughing in the back of the room, directly ahead of him and me, and girls poking each other with pencils and covering their faces. I was 100% embarrassed! They were being so disrespectful in front of the president! I say that, yet some of them were truly captivated by what he had to say and listening intently. I was so proud of those students.
So, I met the President of the FSM (technically again) and really like him. He has a bad rep on the island I think, but he was great to us, seemed very humble, and like he’s doing the best he can with what he has.
Next week is the last week. 3 events in one week…and a speech from me at graduation…EEK.
Then back to Chuuk!!!! Yeah!!!
****2 weeks later and I’m not back in Chuuk. The 20 hour boat ride got canceled…agh! And the new people are here. They rock. My speech and all the events went great and I look back on HAP and know it was the right thing for me to do over the summer. I gained so much. I’m happy to be home now though and getting back to SCA!
Stop reading here if you don’t want reflections on the islands.
So, Pohnpei is very different than Chuuk. Admittedly, I have been living in Kolonia and not the outer municipalities of PNI. Even so, Chuuk does not have a Kolonia. PNI is much more developed and the students generally speak better English than in Chuuk. There are a lot more expats working here, more places to go to, and constant power. Living in Kolonia compared to downtown Chuuk is totally different! I’m not sure if I saw enough of Pohnpei to say this, but I feel like Chuuk embraces their culture more and has more of a small town feel. In PNI, I see girls wearing mini skirts, short shorts and pants more rather than the local skirts and muumuus which has been confusing to me. PNI seems much more…westernized? Time and travel has shown me a lot more simple, natural island life in Chuuk’s lagoon islands. This difference in the islands has been hard for me. I don’t really know what to think of it. I’m not sure if one is better than the other. Yes, Chuuk is less developed but seems to have more of the cultural pride. PNI is more developed but seems to have less of the simplicity of Chuuk. Is one better than the other? I’m not sure. I know being in PNI it has been really hard for me though to see Pohnpieans wearing skimpy cloths. To me, it seems very disrespectful to their culture (which I am not fully part of so can I say that either?) I feel differently about women in the states wearing skimpy cloths (I’m still not a proponent of it, but it is much more accepted in the US). Seeing girls showing leg here breaks my heart. Loosing the traditional values of their home and the sacredness of legs shows westernization rubbing off on the people here. It’s a visual sign of westernization to me.
I’m not sure that cultural change and westernization is really a bad thing, but I do think it needs to be integrated into traditional culture. Some good can come from the western world, and some bad can come from the western world. As I think about the contrast between the two states, I truly hope that integration of westernization can be done in a way that also embraces and keeps their culture to its fullest.
I’m still trying to process the difference between Chuuk and Pohnpei. I’m not sure that I ever will understand it. I have theories but nothing that I find to explain things. I don’t think one place is better than the other, just different. I see strengths and weaknesses in both sides of westernization in the islands. My heart is obviously in Chuuk, but it has been great to be in PNI, meet new people, go to movies and bars, have electricity, and even a hot shower…yes, I got to take 2 hot showers while here! AMAZING!
One thing that really bothered me here though was how often people say that Chuuk is a horrible place with horrible, violent people. Most people have only seen Weno, and for a brief time. Similar to what I stated, what I saw here is only a sample after 5 weeks. I can’t fully talk about PNI, yet people here think that once they’ve been to Chuuk for a day, they can quickly agree with what others have said, that Chuuk is the unwanted step child of the FSM and not a good place. I found myself defending Chuuk over and over again and being frustrated with their quick glance opinion of my home. There was no shame in slamming Chuuk to my face. Again, I reiterate, Chuuk is where I live. I would never say your home is a POS, especially not to your face, so please, think about how much you’ve seen of a Chuuk before slamming the state-hence why I restate over and over again that I don’t know if I have enough experience in PNI to even say what I have said.
So to conclude, I restate, I do not think what I have seen in PNI nor Chuuk is bad. I simply think it’s different and don’t know how to understand the differences yet. I don’t think I understand either place well enough to decide what I have seen. These are just thoughts after spending 11 months in Chuuk and 1 month and 2 weeks in Pohnpei, which can be completely flawed from what someone would understand after much longer.
Enough writing.
With love,
Jessica
This all sounds like quite a lot in a few days, but I’m ready and excited. The summer in PNI has been wonderful and I do not regret switching islands and placements for the summer, but I am ready to go back to Chuuk and excited to meet our new people! I can’t believe I’m more than half way done though! I don’t feel like I’ve been here that long.
Anyhow, what did I do this summer in PNI? Well, I was the Director of the Higher Achievement Program. HAP is a program run by Xavier volunteers and people closely affiliated with Xavier (AKA me) for to be 8th graders at the top of their classes from all elementary schools in PNI. My job was to plan field trips, make sure logistics were done, take care of the budget, and just make sure things were running smoothly. To be honest, the job wasn’t so hard. There were moments of high stress such as during our field trips making sure all 61 students and volunteers were with us, respectful and so on, but the planning wasn’t so bad.
I learned a lot through being director, and got to see a lot too. For the field trips we went to Micronesian Seminar (www.micsem.org) and I got to see more in depth what they do for FSM. We went to the Local Food Community of Pohnpei and had a presentation from the Conservation Society in Pohnpei, which I got to see both of these presentations and go to the LFCP and see their place. Then, the two coolest and hardest field trips came-Nan Madol and the Capitol at Palikir where we met with the President of the FSM. These were awesome although STRESSFUL! Nan Madol is ruins in PNI created in the 1200s I think and mark the lands of the highest ranking chief because of the prime location and history of the people in the area. It was the first time I had seen ruins, therefore it was pretty awesome. I was also met by a lot of hospitality of the local deacon and parents. Finally, yesterday we went to the FSM Capitol at Palikir. This fieldtrip may have been less stressful in planning, but I would say it was the most stressful and coolest for me once there. When we got to the Capitol, the tour guide did not show up. I went into the Dept. of Edu office and they called him. He arrived 45 mins later so I had 60 13 year olds bored for 45 mins. I decided to walk around the buildings with them and tell them what I could about each of the government offices but I am no expert in government and what happens in each office. Luckily I had gone through the 3 branches of government with the students the day before and some other information so I was able to quiz them along the walk. Still, we got back to the bus and the tour guide still wasn’t there. When he showed up he had a lot of energy and humor and all turned out great. At 10:30 we had a meeting with the President of the FSM, Manny Mori from Chuuk. This part proved rather stressful too. The president was in his office and ready for us, very hospitable, and honestly, I have a good impression of him. Anyhow, as we went in to sit down, the presidents employees told me to go sit up front next to him-eeek…I’m a 23 year old teacher. How am I the person that should be sitting next to the president of a country in front of a large group? Anyhow, I did as asked and the tour guide presented the group briefly, passed it to the president’s office, who passed it straight to me….shoot, what do I say?!?! So, I spoke a little more about the students and the group, the goal and so on, and then passed it to the president. WOOSH! He spoke to them with great humor and honesty which I appreciated. Then they asked him questions which we prepared beforehand. He answered the questions very humbly and gave us a ton of time. He talked to the students about the value of their education and the need for leaders with honesty and education. I was thoroughly impressed with him. All at the same time though, I was watching my students talking and laughing in the back of the room, directly ahead of him and me, and girls poking each other with pencils and covering their faces. I was 100% embarrassed! They were being so disrespectful in front of the president! I say that, yet some of them were truly captivated by what he had to say and listening intently. I was so proud of those students.
So, I met the President of the FSM (technically again) and really like him. He has a bad rep on the island I think, but he was great to us, seemed very humble, and like he’s doing the best he can with what he has.
Next week is the last week. 3 events in one week…and a speech from me at graduation…EEK.
Then back to Chuuk!!!! Yeah!!!
****2 weeks later and I’m not back in Chuuk. The 20 hour boat ride got canceled…agh! And the new people are here. They rock. My speech and all the events went great and I look back on HAP and know it was the right thing for me to do over the summer. I gained so much. I’m happy to be home now though and getting back to SCA!
Stop reading here if you don’t want reflections on the islands.
So, Pohnpei is very different than Chuuk. Admittedly, I have been living in Kolonia and not the outer municipalities of PNI. Even so, Chuuk does not have a Kolonia. PNI is much more developed and the students generally speak better English than in Chuuk. There are a lot more expats working here, more places to go to, and constant power. Living in Kolonia compared to downtown Chuuk is totally different! I’m not sure if I saw enough of Pohnpei to say this, but I feel like Chuuk embraces their culture more and has more of a small town feel. In PNI, I see girls wearing mini skirts, short shorts and pants more rather than the local skirts and muumuus which has been confusing to me. PNI seems much more…westernized? Time and travel has shown me a lot more simple, natural island life in Chuuk’s lagoon islands. This difference in the islands has been hard for me. I don’t really know what to think of it. I’m not sure if one is better than the other. Yes, Chuuk is less developed but seems to have more of the cultural pride. PNI is more developed but seems to have less of the simplicity of Chuuk. Is one better than the other? I’m not sure. I know being in PNI it has been really hard for me though to see Pohnpieans wearing skimpy cloths. To me, it seems very disrespectful to their culture (which I am not fully part of so can I say that either?) I feel differently about women in the states wearing skimpy cloths (I’m still not a proponent of it, but it is much more accepted in the US). Seeing girls showing leg here breaks my heart. Loosing the traditional values of their home and the sacredness of legs shows westernization rubbing off on the people here. It’s a visual sign of westernization to me.
I’m not sure that cultural change and westernization is really a bad thing, but I do think it needs to be integrated into traditional culture. Some good can come from the western world, and some bad can come from the western world. As I think about the contrast between the two states, I truly hope that integration of westernization can be done in a way that also embraces and keeps their culture to its fullest.
I’m still trying to process the difference between Chuuk and Pohnpei. I’m not sure that I ever will understand it. I have theories but nothing that I find to explain things. I don’t think one place is better than the other, just different. I see strengths and weaknesses in both sides of westernization in the islands. My heart is obviously in Chuuk, but it has been great to be in PNI, meet new people, go to movies and bars, have electricity, and even a hot shower…yes, I got to take 2 hot showers while here! AMAZING!
One thing that really bothered me here though was how often people say that Chuuk is a horrible place with horrible, violent people. Most people have only seen Weno, and for a brief time. Similar to what I stated, what I saw here is only a sample after 5 weeks. I can’t fully talk about PNI, yet people here think that once they’ve been to Chuuk for a day, they can quickly agree with what others have said, that Chuuk is the unwanted step child of the FSM and not a good place. I found myself defending Chuuk over and over again and being frustrated with their quick glance opinion of my home. There was no shame in slamming Chuuk to my face. Again, I reiterate, Chuuk is where I live. I would never say your home is a POS, especially not to your face, so please, think about how much you’ve seen of a Chuuk before slamming the state-hence why I restate over and over again that I don’t know if I have enough experience in PNI to even say what I have said.
So to conclude, I restate, I do not think what I have seen in PNI nor Chuuk is bad. I simply think it’s different and don’t know how to understand the differences yet. I don’t think I understand either place well enough to decide what I have seen. These are just thoughts after spending 11 months in Chuuk and 1 month and 2 weeks in Pohnpei, which can be completely flawed from what someone would understand after much longer.
Enough writing.
With love,
Jessica
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
The Justice of Education
“Teacher! Teacher! Come!” is what I heard all year from sophomores and juniors in my English classes. I used my mom’s line of “Teacher’s (Mom’s) not here. She changed her name!” As the year closes though, I realize that I grew to love my new name, “Teacher.”
Although I have been called teacher all year and am here sharing a western education with Chuukese students, I have been the one being educated. This maybe cliché, but regardless of years, entering Chuuk and the culture here is something that requires crash course education. My students have been my teachers of their culture and humor all year. They have shown me beauty in Chuuk through traditions, care of one another, and they also taught me a lot about patience being a virtue (that I lack more than I thought)!!!! The thing they do not know they taught me though was the true value of education and justice within education through my roll as a teacher.
As the school year ends, I realize I fell in love with my students and my roll in Chuuk. I am not an activist, revolutionary, or radical here. I am unable to stand up and speak in a new culture the way I loved to in the US, but I am able to teach and plant seeds that may grow someday. The roll I play here is as someone working for justice in an unjust system-the system of education. I am able to be a stable teacher who shows up on time, sober, and every day with a lesson to teach.
One time? Sober? Every day? Yes, I said all of those! Lack of education is something I never realized was so unjust until I entered the education system in Chuuk. I saw bad education in inner city public schools in the US, which is true and needs work, but education in Chuuk is something else. Some days teachers do not come to class until 45 minutes into the class, so classes sit and do nothing for most of the class period. Some teachers will get to school late and not teach either of their classes because they were too late and do not want the classes to be in two different places. At some schools (thankfully not mine) teachers show up smelling like alcohol, or worse, actually drunk and “teach.” And sometimes teachers just do not come to school at all. In that case, students sit in their classrooms doing nothing, or walking around school looking into other classes. Depending on the school, this can happen for a day, or for weeks and somehow, these teachers still have jobs.
So my roll here is not to speak up against the horrible education in Chuuk to the Chuukese Government because I do not have the cultural skills or rapport to say anything. I have realized that my roll in education is to speak up at my own school when and if I can be received, and to do my best to teach adolescences each day to the best of my ability.
I used to struggle with the fact that I am not trained in education and do not have a clue what I am doing in the classroom. This though, is not important. All these students need is someone to share their education. They need someone who is willing to share education every day.
So, after finishing my first school year in Chuuk, if people ever ask me what I learned, I know what I would say. Working in this system has taught me my ability as a teacher, but more importantly how much justice is within a good education. Education is something that can never be taken away from anyone. Learning gives people the ability to critically look at the world they live in, to change things in their own countries and communities, and gives to them opportunities that uneducated people do not have. Education is truly a justice. Education is the tool used in nearly everything we do with our lives from reading the newspaper to or jobs to how we raise a family. As for me, I am incredibly thankful for my wonderful education from my parents, Freeburg Grade School, FCHS, SLU, and everywhere else that has educated my mind, heart and soul.
Junior English Skills and Creative Writing student Anthony
Although I have been called teacher all year and am here sharing a western education with Chuukese students, I have been the one being educated. This maybe cliché, but regardless of years, entering Chuuk and the culture here is something that requires crash course education. My students have been my teachers of their culture and humor all year. They have shown me beauty in Chuuk through traditions, care of one another, and they also taught me a lot about patience being a virtue (that I lack more than I thought)!!!! The thing they do not know they taught me though was the true value of education and justice within education through my roll as a teacher.
As the school year ends, I realize I fell in love with my students and my roll in Chuuk. I am not an activist, revolutionary, or radical here. I am unable to stand up and speak in a new culture the way I loved to in the US, but I am able to teach and plant seeds that may grow someday. The roll I play here is as someone working for justice in an unjust system-the system of education. I am able to be a stable teacher who shows up on time, sober, and every day with a lesson to teach.
One time? Sober? Every day? Yes, I said all of those! Lack of education is something I never realized was so unjust until I entered the education system in Chuuk. I saw bad education in inner city public schools in the US, which is true and needs work, but education in Chuuk is something else. Some days teachers do not come to class until 45 minutes into the class, so classes sit and do nothing for most of the class period. Some teachers will get to school late and not teach either of their classes because they were too late and do not want the classes to be in two different places. At some schools (thankfully not mine) teachers show up smelling like alcohol, or worse, actually drunk and “teach.” And sometimes teachers just do not come to school at all. In that case, students sit in their classrooms doing nothing, or walking around school looking into other classes. Depending on the school, this can happen for a day, or for weeks and somehow, these teachers still have jobs.
So my roll here is not to speak up against the horrible education in Chuuk to the Chuukese Government because I do not have the cultural skills or rapport to say anything. I have realized that my roll in education is to speak up at my own school when and if I can be received, and to do my best to teach adolescences each day to the best of my ability.
I used to struggle with the fact that I am not trained in education and do not have a clue what I am doing in the classroom. This though, is not important. All these students need is someone to share their education. They need someone who is willing to share education every day.
So, after finishing my first school year in Chuuk, if people ever ask me what I learned, I know what I would say. Working in this system has taught me my ability as a teacher, but more importantly how much justice is within a good education. Education is something that can never be taken away from anyone. Learning gives people the ability to critically look at the world they live in, to change things in their own countries and communities, and gives to them opportunities that uneducated people do not have. Education is truly a justice. Education is the tool used in nearly everything we do with our lives from reading the newspaper to or jobs to how we raise a family. As for me, I am incredibly thankful for my wonderful education from my parents, Freeburg Grade School, FCHS, SLU, and everywhere else that has educated my mind, heart and soul.
Junior English Skills and Creative Writing student Anthony
Monday, June 21, 2010
pictures and hello
These are just a few pictures from our retreat at the end of the year! There are plenty of beautiful ones, but I can't upload them all. Tyler took these pictures. They are truly what Chuuk looks like when you get away from the populated island. I'm doing good. How could i not be? Look at the beauty around me!
On the retreat I said something and almost cried at the realization of how true it was....I'm happy here!
Currently I'm in Pohnpei though. I switched islands. Sometimes i catch myself saying i miss home and refering to Chuuk....it's wierd. I like Pohnpei though. It's just...intense. Chuuk is less developed than Pohnpei so I get a little shocked at the cars buzzing buy me or the high speed internet. These would seem like good things, yet they're overwhelming when i haven't seem them in 10mo. Life is good though. I'm where i'm supposed to be.
Miss you all and love you from the beautiful Nesia!!!
Jessica
Thursday, May 20, 2010
summary of the year
Hey everyone. So I haven’t been the best at writing long e-mails to let you all know how things are going here or what’s new. I’m more spermatic than consistent in my e-mails, letters, and blog posts. So, I’d like to give you an overview of my year. But before that, you need to laugh.
“Teacher, come.” Says one of my really sweet and innocent junior students writing a research paper on a foreign concept in Chuuk.
“Wooo” I reply Chuukese style to let her know I heard her call.
“Teacher, what does this mean” she asks pointing to a paragraph.
I read the paragraph and ask, “Which part dear?”
And she points to two words and says, “anal sex?”
I think to myself, Oh my God! Is this really happening. Knowing she’s asking honestly, I take a deep breath and explain. Her response is a flat “EWWWW!”
So today, I had to explain anal sex. How’s that for a story.
Now, onto some substance. I entered my JVI placement in Chuuk skeptical and a little worried that it would have been more brave of me to reject my placement than to accept, but I accepted believing God opened this door for a reason. Getting to Chuuk I was slow to warm up and struggled at the beginning as I usually do in new situations. I started teaching to learn that it is a hard occupation and students don’t realize that the teacher is really working for them, but I stuck with teaching, and Chuuk. I struggled to learn that I didn’t fall immediately in love with Chuuk and the people here and that life here is just plain different than in Latin America and everywhere else I’ve lived. I learned I’m no longer in the western hemisphere and the culture is plain backwards to my culture.
Christmas and a little before were hard months. Being away for Christmas was challenging and news that I was going to have a niece was bitter sweet. Knowing I would be an aunt and being excited for my brother and sister in law was wonderful, but also knowing I was going to be missing the first year of her life and all the things leading up to it was not as wonderful. The news that her middle name would be the same as mine made me tear up a little and wish I could be home to hug everyone and let them know how touched I was.
After Christmas things started getting a lot easier and better. Second semester was much more enjoyable teaching. I started teaching units rather than randomness! I think that’s the key! And I enjoyed my units. In Soph. Lit I taught mythology and then went into the Holocaust. I really really loved teaching the Holocaust and Anne Frank. I wish I could have talked more about the book after it was over and done more review/teaching of the book but in general, I really loved that unit. I also was teaching essay writing in English Skills which gave space for really challenging students to think critically and get to know their own ideas. I have been more confident in what I’m teaching this semester and began enjoying it.
I finally fell in love with being in Chuuk this semester and am able to understand a little better why God put me here. I never would have seen this side of the world had I not been placed here by JVI. I will go back to Latin America some day, but I would have never come here. Furthermore, I feel like I have been able to help students get through struggles, be someone students can trust and ask questions, and laugh with them. It’s been really a beautiful second semester. I have been much more positive about Chuuk and really wish I could show Chuuk to more people. I realized the other day that even though I miss people, I would rather them come visit me than me to go to them at this point.
Living in community has been difficult at times, but in general I think community has made this process of living and working in another culture so much better. I love my community. We really are like a family that loves each other even when we get mad at one another. We laugh together and even do things like “book club” and “star of the week.” Haha.
Spirituality has been interesting. I NEVER want to go to church which is hard because I used to want to go to college mass because I just thought it was a beautiful experience, and at home, although I didn’t want to get up early, I loved going with grandma and grandpa in the mornings. It was special time for me to be with them. Here, I just don’t want to go and don’t enjoy it. I find it one of the most challenging parts of JVI at this point, but am frequently seeing where God is in my life in other ways through nature, student interactions, conversations, and joy.
Education has become a social justice issue for me. Education here is just not what it should be. It’s been a real struggle. I know I’m teaching at a private school so the poorest students are not able to attend in most cases, but even the students who can pay for education are not getting a just education. Teachers don’t always show up, the resources are less (but not horribly limited) and parents for the most part do not support education past financial assistance. There is no follow up at home to make sure students are learning. Education in Chuuk is subpar and makes me realize that every day in the classroom I am working for social justice whether in the lessons I teach, or in planting seeds to get the students to go out and work and care for one another.
And the final pillar of the JVI program has been simple living. This pillar has been hard and easy. I’ve been fine spending only $60 although I realize how little that really is, but I can do it. I live in Chuuk where there is no AC in our apartment but it’s freaking hot, and power is fickle and off as much as it’s on, my i-pod was stolen and I never got another... We’re on a budget for dinners and such, and just can’t have everything we want…but, I’m not so excellent at this beings I request anything at a whim from home. This would be my simple living flaw. It’s easy to stay under $60 when shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, snacks, and tons of love is sent from home, yet sometimes I love the boxes, feel loved when I get them, and realize how much time and thought goes into them from home. I constantly think if I should ask for less boxes, but I’m not sure…They’re such a joy…
So, I’m not a perfect JV, but I try and am enjoying the program and my time in Chuuk. I miss people at home, but can’t express enough that through the struggles I’m really in a good place. It’s hard, but it’s good. I think of home a lot, and the people from home, but life is wonderful and I am having an opportunity of a lifetime. I do feel that I’m getting closer to being ready to settle down…in the way I call settling down (that means I’ll probably leave the country again if there is a good opportunity, but only if it’s in the process of something else, like traveling for a month with a job. I’ll probably go away for grad school). Chuuk is probably the longest I’ll live out of the country. I’m happy, but miss being in touch with family and friends. I love the people in my life, and truly want to be more of a part of their lives while still living mine. So mom, dad, grandma/pa, family and friends, know you are still special and important to me. I really do miss you even though I’m loving life here.
Ok, I don’t really know what else to say about the year. It was hard at first, and now I’m good. I’m heading to Pohnepei for the summer to co-direct a Xavier development program called HAP. We’ll be teaching 6th and 7th graders, and then doing Friday field trips which I’ll probably coordinate. I’m very excited about this although sad to leave Caroline and Tyler for the summer! My mailing address will change from June 14th to Aug 1 and I will post that sometime….haha.
Thanks for reading! Love and miss ya’ll!
Jessica
“Teacher, come.” Says one of my really sweet and innocent junior students writing a research paper on a foreign concept in Chuuk.
“Wooo” I reply Chuukese style to let her know I heard her call.
“Teacher, what does this mean” she asks pointing to a paragraph.
I read the paragraph and ask, “Which part dear?”
And she points to two words and says, “anal sex?”
I think to myself, Oh my God! Is this really happening. Knowing she’s asking honestly, I take a deep breath and explain. Her response is a flat “EWWWW!”
So today, I had to explain anal sex. How’s that for a story.
Now, onto some substance. I entered my JVI placement in Chuuk skeptical and a little worried that it would have been more brave of me to reject my placement than to accept, but I accepted believing God opened this door for a reason. Getting to Chuuk I was slow to warm up and struggled at the beginning as I usually do in new situations. I started teaching to learn that it is a hard occupation and students don’t realize that the teacher is really working for them, but I stuck with teaching, and Chuuk. I struggled to learn that I didn’t fall immediately in love with Chuuk and the people here and that life here is just plain different than in Latin America and everywhere else I’ve lived. I learned I’m no longer in the western hemisphere and the culture is plain backwards to my culture.
Christmas and a little before were hard months. Being away for Christmas was challenging and news that I was going to have a niece was bitter sweet. Knowing I would be an aunt and being excited for my brother and sister in law was wonderful, but also knowing I was going to be missing the first year of her life and all the things leading up to it was not as wonderful. The news that her middle name would be the same as mine made me tear up a little and wish I could be home to hug everyone and let them know how touched I was.
After Christmas things started getting a lot easier and better. Second semester was much more enjoyable teaching. I started teaching units rather than randomness! I think that’s the key! And I enjoyed my units. In Soph. Lit I taught mythology and then went into the Holocaust. I really really loved teaching the Holocaust and Anne Frank. I wish I could have talked more about the book after it was over and done more review/teaching of the book but in general, I really loved that unit. I also was teaching essay writing in English Skills which gave space for really challenging students to think critically and get to know their own ideas. I have been more confident in what I’m teaching this semester and began enjoying it.
I finally fell in love with being in Chuuk this semester and am able to understand a little better why God put me here. I never would have seen this side of the world had I not been placed here by JVI. I will go back to Latin America some day, but I would have never come here. Furthermore, I feel like I have been able to help students get through struggles, be someone students can trust and ask questions, and laugh with them. It’s been really a beautiful second semester. I have been much more positive about Chuuk and really wish I could show Chuuk to more people. I realized the other day that even though I miss people, I would rather them come visit me than me to go to them at this point.
Living in community has been difficult at times, but in general I think community has made this process of living and working in another culture so much better. I love my community. We really are like a family that loves each other even when we get mad at one another. We laugh together and even do things like “book club” and “star of the week.” Haha.
Spirituality has been interesting. I NEVER want to go to church which is hard because I used to want to go to college mass because I just thought it was a beautiful experience, and at home, although I didn’t want to get up early, I loved going with grandma and grandpa in the mornings. It was special time for me to be with them. Here, I just don’t want to go and don’t enjoy it. I find it one of the most challenging parts of JVI at this point, but am frequently seeing where God is in my life in other ways through nature, student interactions, conversations, and joy.
Education has become a social justice issue for me. Education here is just not what it should be. It’s been a real struggle. I know I’m teaching at a private school so the poorest students are not able to attend in most cases, but even the students who can pay for education are not getting a just education. Teachers don’t always show up, the resources are less (but not horribly limited) and parents for the most part do not support education past financial assistance. There is no follow up at home to make sure students are learning. Education in Chuuk is subpar and makes me realize that every day in the classroom I am working for social justice whether in the lessons I teach, or in planting seeds to get the students to go out and work and care for one another.
And the final pillar of the JVI program has been simple living. This pillar has been hard and easy. I’ve been fine spending only $60 although I realize how little that really is, but I can do it. I live in Chuuk where there is no AC in our apartment but it’s freaking hot, and power is fickle and off as much as it’s on, my i-pod was stolen and I never got another... We’re on a budget for dinners and such, and just can’t have everything we want…but, I’m not so excellent at this beings I request anything at a whim from home. This would be my simple living flaw. It’s easy to stay under $60 when shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, snacks, and tons of love is sent from home, yet sometimes I love the boxes, feel loved when I get them, and realize how much time and thought goes into them from home. I constantly think if I should ask for less boxes, but I’m not sure…They’re such a joy…
So, I’m not a perfect JV, but I try and am enjoying the program and my time in Chuuk. I miss people at home, but can’t express enough that through the struggles I’m really in a good place. It’s hard, but it’s good. I think of home a lot, and the people from home, but life is wonderful and I am having an opportunity of a lifetime. I do feel that I’m getting closer to being ready to settle down…in the way I call settling down (that means I’ll probably leave the country again if there is a good opportunity, but only if it’s in the process of something else, like traveling for a month with a job. I’ll probably go away for grad school). Chuuk is probably the longest I’ll live out of the country. I’m happy, but miss being in touch with family and friends. I love the people in my life, and truly want to be more of a part of their lives while still living mine. So mom, dad, grandma/pa, family and friends, know you are still special and important to me. I really do miss you even though I’m loving life here.
Ok, I don’t really know what else to say about the year. It was hard at first, and now I’m good. I’m heading to Pohnepei for the summer to co-direct a Xavier development program called HAP. We’ll be teaching 6th and 7th graders, and then doing Friday field trips which I’ll probably coordinate. I’m very excited about this although sad to leave Caroline and Tyler for the summer! My mailing address will change from June 14th to Aug 1 and I will post that sometime….haha.
Thanks for reading! Love and miss ya’ll!
Jessica
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